I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
