that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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