i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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