I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
