She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
