Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize