do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
