walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
