Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
