Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
