Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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