around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
