he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
