whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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