Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
