Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
