Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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