I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
