guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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