Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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