GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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