Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
