I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
