remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
