Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize