She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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