i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
