I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
