she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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