Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
