Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
