Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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