it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
