hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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