So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
