So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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