am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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