This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize