i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
