Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
