I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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