yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
