Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
