she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She's the barista slut.
I will be naked everywhere
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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