So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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