She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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