and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
