sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
