so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
