I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
