i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
