im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize