We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
