We're like a lot better than the average bears
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
