don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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