Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
