My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
