My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
