he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
