Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
