im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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