if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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