dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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