We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
