tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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