He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
