Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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