i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I want a musical about memes.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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