In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
there is glitter all over my balls
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