I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
