Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
