its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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